Tree Wonderland

Today, when I am sipping rose water in front of my desk. The snow is still covering the ground, soft and tender like a cozy blanket. I remembered that the first time I settled in this city, I do not like living in a high-rise building or anything else. The reason is blatantly simple, I want to touch the trees. That is quite a weird idea, isn’t it ? I smiled to myself and looked outside.

I lived in this apartment for about 4 years, there are pros and cons about it but anyway I put up with a lot of downsides. The most favorite thing about my current place is there is a pine tree outside so I could see it everyday while I am working. I fell in love for the pine smell since I bought the first candle in the supermarket. The crisp, and soft feelings linger in my head. I feel so calm and refreshing at the same time.

I often remembered this smell from time to time that I could not stop thinking about it. After I began to study herbalism on and off I realized that why I fell in love with it. I did my research and my observation in front of my window for several months now. The pine trees are like soldiers, standing strong no matter in what kind of situations. There were two snow storms in here already and every time it came forward. The wind blew so hard so you could hear the roaring sounds in my apartment. However, the pine trees resisted so hard under the wind and the snow. The snow gradually piled up on the branches and wanted to crushed them, yet they were so bendable and embraced the heaviness as a gift . I kinda worried about the tree that night since when I went to sleep, the snow was never stop. Surprisingly the next morning, the snow was not the enemy any more but a decoration to the tree like an icing to the cake. I kept appreciating when the sun shined on the tree, the crystal marbled sparkled from the tree and it was newly green like a rebirth color ! I was happy and could not wait to push the window up, a strong pine smell gushed out to my apartment and I felt that familiar smell again ! Life is so lovely !

Different Varieties from the Pine Cone

The tree has its special energies, like human with auras. The first time I touched the smell, I felt the strong grounded and crispy refreshing flavor. It makes you think you are walking in a forest after the rain and showered by the morning dews. The most important energies here are all about grounding, the emotion would suddenly becomes firm and determined which would not swing like crazy. I think it also fits the image of standing still right ? The pine trees never die and always green so I think it has the nickname of “evergreen”.

I gradually fell in love with pine trees, after the snow, I often saw the squirrels were jumping up and down with their friends on the tree. There were birds sometimes drop by and say hello to me in the morning. I felt like the trees are like the protectors of other living things even including me. So today, I am showing my appreciation by writing this down and I hope before next winter, I could collet some pine cones and decorate them inside my apartment if I am still living here.

Witsen’s Drawing of a Siberian Shaman

It is no wonder that for the Christmas, the tree represents anew and resurrection. That is exactly how I felt the first time when my sensation was waking up by the pine trees. I felt like the nature is our modern people’s lost souls, I always feel calm and peace within them and never get tired of it. I sincerely hope that people would realize their beauty before we go too far.

I also forgot today is the Valentine’s day, but I hope my love would send to this special pine tree in front of my apartment and thanks for protecting me. Love for all .

At last I watched a very fun short clips from Youtube about trees, they are so lovely and fun. Hope I could enjoy them !

Silly Symphony from 1932, old fun production

P.S I also Collect some interesting readings along the way:

The energies about the pine trees

Some of the original arts about trees and Shamanism:

http://www.davwhiteart.com/where-the-wild-things-are.html

Say goodbye to 2020, and 2021 Dream

2020已经结尾了,今天是春节的第二天,2020年过的挺郁闷的。就是七上八下,没有一个结果,时不时也感到有一点绝望。

工作几年之后发现注意力急速下降,也没有了热情。想转换工作可惜时候还没到。2020年内心是纠结,郁闷的。很少在别人面前表现出来。因为别人觉得我是一个开朗活泼的人吧。

很想要自由,可惜还不行,已经32岁了,还有很多东西没完成。最近几天那种感觉又回来了,是那种想专注,但是不能专注,想找点东西做,但是已经失去了所有动力。我觉得已经到达一种平台期了,我内心知道自己一定要休息,一定要远离工作,但是因为身份问题还需要工作,觉得很累。这边又没有找到合适的朋友表达自己,觉得社交生活实在是太单调了。不知道未来会如何,总之觉得什么都想做,但是什么都做不好。

不知道这种感觉会持续到什么时候呢?希望通过写东西获得指引,我很喜欢写东西,只是这几年感觉如鲠在喉,因为言论自由受到了很大的打击。很多真实的感受不能被表达,可能只有通过私密的写作或者画画才能写出来?

我想坚持写点东西,无论是影评还是学习,之前有那么一瞬间,觉得小时候的回忆突然涌现出现,发现如果我不记录的话,觉得好像已经离我很远了。好像已经不是我了。那个我离我很远。

不过每天尽量写作可能我的心情会变好? 我试试看感觉会如何呢?

拿到奖金之后最想做得事情就是买VR想用它锻炼身体,另外还真的像玩玩VR chat 还有其他好玩的游戏。另外还想更新我的podcast, 我觉得无论说什么都好至少让我重拾生活的兴趣还有爱好。做自己真正想做的事情,这些年都没有那种感觉,有的就是机械化的思考和理性的规划。我很想对我想要的生活重拾信心,不知道拿到身份之后能不能买一个tinyhouse,到处游历去了。